Team: Rockits
Name: Scarmen Hellectra
Number: 28
Status: Active
Awards & Accolades: 06-07 Interleague Team
Position You Play: Jammer / Blocker
Distinguishing Feature(s): Tube socks, dorky glasses.
Injuries: Tailbone contusion, sprained ankle, knees started making bizarre snapping sounds (and that can't be good).
Penalties, Feuds, and Bad Behavior: I tend to use my forearms a lot. I was sent to the box six times when we played in Albuquerque!
Loves: Inertia
Hates: Gravity
Favorite Song: "The Day my Baby Gave me a Surprise" by Devo
Favorite Derby Moment: Winning the Golden Skate in Season 2 with a team of just 11 Rockits.
Star Sign: Scorpio

More Dirt About Me:
In the late seventies, on a cold, still night in November, the astronomer Languus Hentrich took note of a curious occurrence while observing Autumn constellations in his observatory. His writings tell of the moon's pallor deepening to red and the shuddering of every star in the heavens. Weeks later he was found dead of sudden, unexplained internal bleeding.

On the same date of Hentrich's mysterious telling, thousands of miles away in the upper midwest United States, a newlywed couple heard a baby crying in the woods behind their home. This was the child, parthenogenetically borne of the waxing crescent moon, named by the stars, Skhearmn Hlullechra. (Since her true name is unpronounceable by a human tongue, and to do so causes the listener to go insane, she goes simply by "Scarmen Hellectra.")

On Scarmen's twelfth birthday, her parents bought her a set of roller skates. Later that same week, she was sent to detention for body checking a bus off of the road while skating to school. The following day she was expelled after head-butting the principal and punching a desk until it exploded, plus part of the desk hit some kid in the face and chipped his tooth.

After moving out of her parents' house, Scarmen recorded a series of pervy workout tapes, and some ill-conceived pop music. She tried hosting a lame dating show as well. Since none of these activities could sate her desire speed and contusions, she joined the Minnesota RollerGirls.